Famous Rodney Dangerfield Quotes


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Rodney Dangerfield

Rodney Dangerfield

Rodney Dangerfield (born Jacob Rodney Cohen, November 22, 1921 – October 5, 2004) was an American comedian and actor, known for the catchphrase "I don't get no respect!" and his monologues on that theme.

I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put over my kitchen table.
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With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me.
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My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive.
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I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it.
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I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.
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I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.
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I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.
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Yeah, I know I'm ugly... I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said 'God beat me to it.'
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A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home.
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My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home.
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