Famous Joan Rivers Quotes


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Joan Rivers

Joan Rivers

Joan Alexandra Molinsky (born June 8, 1933), better known by her stage name Joan Rivers, is an American television personality, comedian, writer, film director, and actress.

The ideal beauty is a fugitive which is never found.
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I think I'm in a business where you have to look good, and it's totally youth-oriented.
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Diets, like clothes, should be tailored to you.
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The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it.
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Is Elizabeth Taylor fat? Her favorite food is seconds.
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I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
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If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor.
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Never floss with a stranger.
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Comediennes are the lucky ones, because if you're funny, you can be 125 years old and they will still accept you.
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Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is God's gift, that's why we call it the present.
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