Famous Fred Allen Quotes


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Fred Allen

Fred Allen

Fred Allen (born John Florence SullivanMay 31, 1894 – March 17, 1956) was an American comedian whose absurdist, topically pointed radio show (1932–1949) made him one of the most popular and forward-looking humorists in the Golden Age of American radio.

We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with jokes and comedy material to compete with the machine. Whether he knows it or not, the comedian is on a treadmill to oblivion.
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An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission.
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My father never raised his hand to any one of his children, except in self-defense.
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I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the sap.
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I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
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California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange.
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The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion.
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I have just returned from Boston. It is the only thing to do if you find yourself up there.
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I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back.
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All I know about humor is that I don't know anything about it.
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