William "Billy" Connolly, Jr., (born 24 November 1942) is a British comedian, musician, presenter and actor.
Once you become successful, people know where you live, the type of house you live in, the kind of car you drive, the clothes you wear, and so it would be patronising to go and talk like a welder. Welding's a mystery to me now. You can't go back, your life changes every day. Use this quote
My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of the Lone Ranger. Use this quote
I've always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives. Use this quote
I think my securities far outweigh my insecurities. I am not nearly as afraid of myself and my imagination as I used to be. Use this quote
Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit. Use this quote
Never trust a man, who when left alone with a tea cosey... Doesn't try it on. Use this quote
Heckling is an act of cowardice. If you want to speak, get up in front of the microphone and speak, don't sit in the dark hiding. It's easy to hide and shout and waste people's time. Use this quote
